Just a Quick Note ...

... to say that Lauren took her first steps yesterday. Amazing that 6 months ago she could barely hold her head up. So very proud, and wishing I could be there to cheer her on.

Glad I Didn't Make A Paper Chain...

So, our 30-day appeal window has not started yet. We've heard that we received a favorable judgement, but until the paperwork is actually filed, we don't start the countdown. I'm also still a little weary to think of them as "ours" until someone actually sees that the paperwork does exist! It is getting harder and harder to wait. For awhile I had been pretty content to wait and bide my time, but I am now really feeling like they need to be home. It is just time. More than just a desire to have them with me, I have a gut feeling that they need to come home now.

Unfortunately, there is still so much that has to happen first. And lately those things have not been happening in a timely manner. Of course, nothing about this process has happened along the time frame that I thought it would. Some things (like starting the process with OFA and getting our referral) have been extremely fast. Everything else (getting the homestudy started and then finished, FINGERPRINTS!!, and getting a judgement) have taken far longer.

I've started praying this way: God, you are so big. You move mountains and seas, bring the dead back to life, harden and soften hearts at will. You give life and take it away. Please move mountains and bring our babies home. If you say "no" out of your wisdom, then let it be. However, if there is any other reason keeping them from coming soon, then be mighty in this situation, and clear the way for them to come home.

We will hopefully hear about our judgment tomorrow. In the meantime, I am getting things ready at home that doesn't involve purchasing things. Today, with Megan's help, I cleared her room of little kid stuff and shoved it all into the room for them that I still need to finish painting. It is an organized mess in there, and for some reason, I am stuck and can't seem to finish the project. The room needs painted regardless. But I just can't seem to go in there and actually do it. I don't believe in jinxing (how the heck do you spell that word??) or anything superstitious, but I feel like I just don't get to prepare for them yet. Like I'm jumping the gun, I guess. Some days it's just hard to believe that they'll ever be home. But I see them every time we sit down at the table to eat dinner, and every time we are driving to church. I miss them when we're doing fun family activities (going to the fair, the lake, or any kind of celebration), and even when we're not doing much at all. Megan cried today, asking me why they weren't home yet. I just told her to pray. They are definitely a part of our family, and have found a place very deep inside our hearts.